How would you define yourself when it comes to those around you? Does the world seem to pass you by, leaving you standing alone at the fork in the road? Or do you have friends and family happily throw an arm around your shoulders and light the way?
Even if you consider a lone wolf, you should at least have one friend with whom you can speak openly. If not, you may be having trouble connecting with people. Let’s have a look at the signs that show difficulties forming relationships:
1. Not exchanging a means to connect
Back in the day, when you wanted to get in contact with someone, you tried to remember where they lived to run over to their homestead and invite them out. Now, you use email, phone, text or instant messaging to get a hold of friends.
When you do not exchange this critical information, you are closing down the one path someone could potentially use to keep in touch. Though you may think it is smart to hold off on exchanging numbers, just remember that reluctance is hindering any efforts to develop friendships.
2. You are not being genuine enough
Chances are you are not giving away your phone number because you want to be secretive. A closed book. Instead, you are just building walls around yourself. Further, whenever you lie, deceive, or fail to give anything to those who are curious to know the real you, the tenuous connection fades rapidly.
People are not going to remain interested in someone who does not seem to care, let alone who does not seem “real” enough. Sometimes to make friends, you need to be vulnerable.
3. You are not paying attention to their emotions
On the flip side, you may be too invested in yourself to notice those around you in need. It is totally fine to love yourself, but when you ignore people who are close to you or who need your help, you are doing yourself a disservice. Be trustworthy and helpful rather than cold and calculating. Do not manipulate people. Be willing to support them, and they will support you in return.
4. Persistence is lacking
You may have gotten hurt in the past. Perhaps you went after someone too much and it ended badly. Now, you are afraid to reach out. Do not be. Sometimes, persistence is exactly what others need to warm up to you. Relationships are rarely a one-and-done deal. You have to work at it, be genuine, and show that you really care.
5. Speaking, not listening
When you say things, those words act upon those around you. Like a spell, your energy, whether it is positive or negative, can permeate the atmosphere and poison it. If you generally speak without thinking about the consequences, you may be unknowingly hurting those around you.
If you are defeatist, pessimistic, or even detached, that attitude reflects poorly on you. No one wants to be friends with someone who spews nothing but woes, worries, and “whatever.”
When you cannot connect with people, the number one sign is that no one is there to get your back. Other factors, however, are much more subtle, because they are caused by you.
Do not overlook your tendencies to push people away by failing to set up a means of communication, speaking too negatively, or investing too much time into yourself that you ignore blatant calls for help. Be a bit more open, and surely connecting with others will become much easier.
APPROVED BY WOMANITELY
WRITTEN BY:Valerie Taylor
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