I come from a place when it was expected for children to behave. We were taught that we should be respectful of others and treat others the way we wanted to be treated.
Now, I am not claiming to be an expert at child behavior or parenting, but I have seen the times are changing to where many parents are finding excuses for their children’s poor behavior rather than taking the time to deal with and teach the proper way to behave. Here are some of the worst excuses I have heard parents use to explain their child’s bad behavior.
1. Boys will be boy
This is an oldie, but a goodie. I think people have been saying this for centuries. I agree that boys are different than girls and exhibit behaviors that are more like alpha male wolves. This is how boys should act. However, there should be boundaries.
I have two boys. I know that they get rough and competitive and tend to be a little rowdier than girls. It is for a reason that they have those instincts just as we girls have ours. But, boys need to be taught when those behaviors are most acceptable and when they are not. Do not use this excuse for your boys having no boundaries. Teach them instead.
2. It is the terrible two’s or three’s
I remember those days. Yes, there is such a thing as “terrible two’s or three’s.” My son went through that behavior at three, and I thought it would never end.
I remember the time my son was acting out at a restaurant (we had many of those times), and I told him that if he couldn’t behave, we would sit in the car. He continued his behavior, so he and I sat in the car until his dad was finished eating.
Now, you may be thinking that I was punishing myself along with him, but I disagree. I was teaching him that he could not behave like a brat and get what he wants. He needed to behave a certain way when we were eating dinner, especially at a restaurant.
3. They have issues
As a teacher, I have had numerous students in my classroom who have come right out and told me they had anger issues. Parents have made excuses because their child has ADHD or some other disorder or disability. Now don’t get me wrong. I know there are legitimate reasons that children may be misbehaving, but blaming it on an issue seems like just another excuse.
I tell those students who inform me of their “issues” that we all have issues, but it is how we deal with the issues that matter. We know that behaving a certain way is unacceptable because we all have something to deal with.
I do not usually have problems with those children after discussing my expectation. Again, I know that there are some children who truly have an issue that makes behaving difficult, but they too must know what’s right and wrong.
Children do not need excuses; they need boundaries. It should not matter if they are boys, or two, or have “issues.” They need to know what is acceptable and what is not, and they need to learn that from you.
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Written by Michelle nab